Emotions

I realize now that my first voyage into the world of blogging may have come across a little alarming. Let me clarify haha, I am not depressed.

I do though, prefer all things emotive and dramatic instead of whimsical comedy. That is not to say that I don't enjoy comedy, it's just that I am not particularly adept at being funny. The only laughing that occurs around me is me failing to be funny haha. My friend Katelyn Jackson on the other hand, does comedy very well, and she will make your day, so read her blog by clicking on I'm a Creep, I'm a Weirdo at the bottom of this page. What I am adept at is touching on the emotional human experience. That is what I want to do with my life - make emotively touching films that will reduce people to tears. Why? The subject matter is my favorite to deal with. My favorite film of all time is the 2005 Best Picture Oscar winner CRASH.

If you have not seen this movie, go out right now and buy it, don't rent it, buy it. The ability of something as fake as movie-making to inspire such emotion from a viewer is incredible to me. I don't think anyone can come out of this film and not be affected emotionally but it's message. I hate it when film makers don't allow viewers to experience emotion in film. It is usually brought to an abrupt end with comic relief but sometimes, people just need to cry. There should be no shame in crying, it's good for you. Which brings me to my point. I mentioned that my theme for my blog is losing yourself in order to try to find yourself again. I think there was confusion as I came across as someone who was depressed who was trying to lose the pain of life or something. No. I have experience a lot of things in my life and at times a lot of pain. Facing the journey of realizing that I was gay and dealing with that through high school was enough haha. I was lost at one point though. I was lost in a socially constructed world. That story will be for another blog entirely but the important thing is that I overcame plenty and have come out with the best support from everyone around me and could not be happier. I don't know whether my experience or my avid reading of Nicholas Spark's entire collection of novels that has turned me on to the human emotional experience. I want to touch people's lives by creating an emotional outlet. Simple enough.

I also really adore horror films with a passion though. Which you also know if you know me. (and musicals!!!) SO I guess my goal one day is to create a musical version of A Nightmare on Elm Street that carries an emotional punch of sappy tears. ;)

(That was my comic relief)

 I have declared myself and I am currently working towards a Masters degree in Media and Cinema Studies, a secondary Major in Digital Film Production, and a Minor degree in LGBT Studies. The most asked question is what my Minor has to do with the job I want. It doesn't, I believe it makes me a better person, and that everyone to some degree should have to take a class focuses on gender studies. A quote I took from the class and keep on my desk reads:

"This is the price we pay to be men: The suppression of joy, sensuality, and exuberance."

I kept that quote because it reminded me of a lot of times in my life and I also see it working on a lot of people around me. Suppression in many forms, not just men fighting to keep their masculinity. So be emotive, fight gender construction, fight social construction, be yourself. I like crying because crying can be just like running sometimes. You feel the tears coming, you feel the sense that you are about to lose control and then.. you decide to lose yourself, or you decide to stifle it, burying. Let yourself cry, the tears will eventually stop falling and you will find yourself again, and it will be better. I guess that's why I like CRASH... It's an emotional release that will wake up that part of me even when I feel like nothing can get at me.

Here are a few other suggestions to help you out:

Or check out one of my emotion film projects: